Travel Stories

Jun 02 Outback Adventure:
Susanna and Jen's excellent outback adventure

Here's a little (well, not so little) story about my trip north from Alice Springs to Darwin with my best mate Jen Coward (twenty something) from Yorkshire, England..
For all the Yanks: temperatures are in Celsius and speeds are in kilometers..Enjoy!!

So in case you haven't heard prior to this expedition both Susanna and I both took an organized tour from Adelaide to Alice springs, that changed our lives, after traveling in the desert in 4wd, camping in swags underneath the stars; we both decided the options to Darwin were boring. An 18-30 trip with a moron tour guide or the greyhound bus. Neither thank you. I'll hire a car says Susanna!!!! Who I should point out to my family is thirty something, has been driving a long time - piece of cake.
So we collect the car from Thrifty on Wednesday the 12th @ 12 noon intending to drive to Tennent Creek (5 hrs north), but set off late due to paranoia over having 20 liters of water in the car and enough mobile phone credit if we break down. (having forgotten that only 5 per cent of Australia has mobile coverage and we are hardly likely to get reception where we are going!.) First hurdle getting out of Alice. Are we on the Stuart Highway? asks Susanna haven't the heart tell her I have no sense of direction, but there is only one road north so how hard can it be ? (I must by this time point out that the highway is named after an explorer that never made it). O.k enough drama. We seemed to be going o.k ; got very excited at the sign for tropic of Capricorn so excited that we joined an italian couple at the side of the highway for photos. By now Susanna is getting confident cruising at speeds of over 160 k per hour(sorry mum) until we get stuck behind a road train, not just any old road train but a driving bomb? (4 wagons of shell fuel). We stayed behind this beauty, paralyzed by fear; for about thirty minutes or what seemed like. Quick, read the tips from thrifty!..mmm overtaking road trains...people overtake them o.k..allow 1km of straight road? so after persuasion Susanna is off like a bat out of hell. Loud screams of delight followed oh and protocol says be nice to driver so waved in delight. Figure that is the biggest hurdle to overcome and at this point am glad I am not driving.!!!!!!! (to Susanna's friends must admit this is safer. Have no license, have failed test three times.
After driving for about three hours we decide to stop for the night - too many jumping kanga's for the likes of us, and by now the tally of dead roo's is approaching 30 (by this I mean ones already dead, not hit by us!). We stop at a little place called Barrow Creek, which is a pub with basic accommodation out the back. It's a bizarre little place, cat sitting on the bar. It has underwear, business cards and a rude picture of three kangaroos on the wall.
(some of you may have been lucky enough to get a postcard - like we said it's not digitally enhanced - we have seen the original!) Meet the landlord who looks familiar (till I realize I have seen him on telly later - this is the landlord who looked after Joanne Lees , girlfriend of ill fated Peter Falconio.)
Maybe that explains the bible left in the room..
Anyway he was v. friendly and made me egg n' chips.
So watch the sunset behind the windmill with the locals ( locals being old timers? -travelling Australia with pension and a campervan). They were in disbelief at our stories of Susanna passing the road train (they could however only hit speeds of 80k per hour), so this was hardly surprising!

DAY 2
Well after hitting bed last night at 9 ish managed to get off early approx seven ish. -warned by fellow travellers to watch the roos? so watch we will ( roo damage to the car will cripple our trip- have mid strength insurance.) roo tally is hitting forty. See a few live ones this morning which is unique and even managed not to hit one! Arrive at Devils Marbles at 8.30a.m FANTASTIC. Even managed a drawing or two.( Must inform my friends and family here that Susanna is a painter - not just any middle of the road painter but a v. good one .. her pictures make people gasp.)
The light is amazing. but decide to push on to Tennent Creek( an old gold mining town). Once we got there we wondered why we had bothered. It was like the last frontier.we had seen some good outback towns but this was not a good one; for a start no record storebig will ( Will Smith-"big willy style")and George (really cool aussie band) were starting to become tiresome. No radio reception out here. Stopped for brekkie at the truckers cafe and bought a day old newspaper for entertainment; headline page being 4 metre saltie next to dinghy on lake ( saltie being the sort of croc that likes to take a bite out of a human- BEFORE SWALLOWING WHOLE.) . This was a warning for us before we got further north. Susanna shouts" lets blow this popsicle stand" and we are on our way!
Stopped at the telegraph station about 20k's north, deserted ramshackle affair. Hard to believe that this was the centre of communication. No mobile reception today.
Next stop Wycliffe wellwell actually we drove through it and past some interesting pics of aliens. Wycliffe well is the centre of all ufo activity in Australia apparentlyanyhow, could do without aliens so pushed on to a little place called Elliot - perhaps a little too fast.saw blue flashing light. I thought the police car saw tourists.. females and was stopping us for fun. No such luck ! Apparently we were doing 96 in a 60 zone. We were I should point out on the highway not on a back street, and there were no signs to tell us we were in a sixty zonethe cops were having the most fun they had had all day though so there was no stopping them!!!!
At this point I almost passed out so had to go to the medical centre myself..where Susanna inspects deadly snakes pickled in jars. Enough said.. free drugs( aboriginal medical centre) and twenty minutes later we are on the road. The same piece of road, or is it? c'os it all looks the same. red dirt. and half starved trees.
After our longest day yet decide to stop at Daly Waters Pub, recommended by Belle ( fab tour agent in Alice). Novelty pub, bras hanging on walls sort of place but was discovered by travellers a long time ago and is now somewhat jaded; has bushpig for owner( bushpigs growl a lot). It does however have the comfiest beds by far ( in a room with air con!)and after a rather dodgy barbecuecrashed at 8 p.m.

Day 3
By now it's hot. After camping in previous couple of weeks in dead of winter. 26 degrees is killing us. Realise Daly Waters is tour guide heaven so as the tour buses roll in we roll out, hopefully heading for hot pools at Mataranka before they do. Roo kill tally at 48. BAD!
Finally get to Mataranka. This place is like Butlins. Town is full of Abbo's carrying 24 packs of V.B (victoria bitter) to a piece of scrub. Have photo taken of myself in front of giant termite mound which Susanna is convinced is fake. That's the american in her, but have no Walt Disney out here. It's real!
Found a beautiful little spot away from butlins (a British all inclusive holiday camp and Carival cruise rolled into one) with Cabins, and had just figured we had enough cash to pay for it only to hear that they were full. Susanna finished this off by reversing into a tree. Oh god can't look at the damage! ( two cracked rear light's) OOPS!!!! After this decided we must be tired ( it's 1p.m) and HOT! So get a room at the backpackers which has seen better days; the benefit of this place being the hot pools we thought. So after waiting for all the tour groups to disappear we hopped in. It certainly didn't feel thermal!!! We had left going in till late in the afternoon for this reason. OH DEAR. Well at least we hadn't hit a roo! YET So strolled down to the bar that night where we met Phil, tall, stocky guy in overalls with 'ZZ Top' beard, who I have to say was desperately in need of a wash. Anyhow he took a fancy to Susanna and invited us to join him at his table. We thought why not??.he introduced us to some even more colorful characters, trisha fisher for one- the loudest aussie female you are ever likely to meet. After turning down a job fencing tried to get away to see the band, not a very good excuse as they were terrible, two people singing to synthesised country music. The aussie outback version of Kylie and Jason. ( for the Yanks: like a young Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers)

Day 4
Woken by trisha fisher shouting! Must get out of this place. Set off for Katherine. Roo tally at 52. On approaching katherine we get radio reception. Yee haa! This is fantastic c'os will smith is gonna become a coaster after this trip. Mobile reception too. Wow.We're running on a high now!!!! Head to tourist information where we have tp pay 20 dollars deposit for the use of the tap for drinking water.hope this isn't a bad omen!??.
After brekkie decide to head out to the Katherine Gorge that looks so beautiful in the pictures.. by now it is 32 degrees.so air con is on full. In daze lie on banks before we go for a dip. Big Mistake..we can hear the commentary on the boat cruise..?at 11' oclock on your left ladies and gentlemen you can see a large freshwater crocodile?. Later we see a couple on a lilo float past it blissfully unaware. Heat does a funny thing to the brain out here! Freshwater crocs are supposed to be o.k but we're not taking any chances.beat a hasty retreat to Wooly's ( supermarket) where we run into one of the gals from the previous trip. Decide to stay in Katherine and watch the match England V Denmark. We ended up back at the hostel, two T.V's blaring..the excitement was building.the germans decided to talk right the way through it. After everyone had shortened their nails somewhat, it was all over. Hurrah!!!!! We won. Sorry guys have got Susanna rooting for England. Sorry I'll reprase that. Root means something else over here!

Day 5
Set off for Kakadu National Park..saw sign for Edith Falls on way so decided to stop, but took wrong turning and hit a joey.( joey being a young kangaroo) Oh GOD !53! Inspected car for damageluckily none.PHEW! So we travel on the real road to Edith falls in sombre mood. We killed a joey.. Oh Dear.!
Edith Falls is beautiful..so we decide to stop and paint. The sun must have gotten to me by now. What crazy person in their right mind paints moving water? Have to go for a swim in the natural pool at the base of the waterfall. The water is cool but inviting and we are one of the few there. We are loath to leave this spectacular spot but realise we have a long drive to Kakadu. Trying to dodge the tourist buses we end up at Ubirr, otherwise known as mosquito heaven?; eight bites in six minutes. It's there that we meet Susanna's alter ego; dutch boy Timo, but twenty years too young. We take him to the ubirr art site to the lookout for sunset and join the massing hourdes. We have a panoramic view of Kakadu from here, and it's just beautiful as we sit and watch the sun go down.
Back at the hostel we cover ourselves liberally in insect repellant before attempting to cook dinner, meanwhile Susanna works her charm on a guy in the hostel who has a case of beer. Enough said.!!!! ( we christened her beer monster? on the last trip!!!) We met some great aussie's there who gave us our first taste of barramundi, before retiring with the mossie's.

Day 6
O.K not too many bites this morning, say our goodbyes to Timo and head to the check out the natural art gallery at Ubirr. (Tour bus heaven) In heat and confusion I end up wearing my flip flops to clamber over rocks and get bizarre looks from AAT ( codename Australian Arthritic Tours). Am walking at same pace, decide to take off flipflops which just increases bizarre looks. Feet need wash within five minutes! So the art? oh yes sorry it is amazingreally clear which leads us to wonder if it has been touched up recently.maybe Walt Disney is out here after all? O.k so after the walk decide to head for the river cruise at 11a.m, we get down to the boat ramp at exactly the same time as AAT. Oh dear! They are by now staring at my feet once more!!!! Decide to hide at the back of the small boat. Susanna and I are the youngest on the boat, which taking into account the five years Susanna takes off her age makes us approx 20 years younger. The guide makes a beeline ( we later learn he is looking for a wife!!). so we're cruising the east alligator riverchecking out the crocs, and how stable the boat is. See a four metre beauty. (these are saltwater crocs- eat anything especially Americans-Suz is on the window seat (the open air version -as it were). Get to walk on Arnhem land - real privilege- usually they charge you( Arnhem land is the main aboriginal area).also get to try out the didgeridoo(hope it scares the crocs c'os the boat isn't that sturdy) , our guide is great but obviously does far too many aat tours so homes in on Susanna and I . He later turns up at the spot he told us to go to for lunch ( Barramundi burger- $6. BARGAIN) so with reluctance we say Buk buk( goodbye in Abbo) and leave our new friend and head funnily enough to Bachelor, where we meet the batchelors at the butterfly farm.
(An optional tour in Kakadu that we left out, is the visit to the Uranium mine only twenty dollars. BARGAIN! -however must wear covered shoes and not want children in future years. This is wear Aussie just don't get it, having a uranium mine in a World Heritage Listed National Park).
On the way we encounter a statue of a croc near Mary River, so of course have to stop for photo's, pass the wetlands..and head to Bachelor which is near the gateway, get eaten alive by mosquito's near lake bennet shark's resort ( another butlins) , make a hasty retreat and head to 'Jungle Drum bungalows'( much nicer) by chance we stop into the butterfly and bird farm, get talking to the owner ( who lived 10 years in Dewsbury) and end up paying less to stay in their accommodation. We get free rice and he offers to take us lawn bowling but by this time Susanna is in a frenzy over the possibility that Mexico may just have lost to the U.S.A in the footy( SOCCER). Eventually find out days later it was 2.0. wow!!!! As it turns out for beer monster they have a bar. She's happy!!!

Litchfield. Day 6 ?
Tried to get up v. early - managed 7a.m! after the Swiss girls blew the fuse headed to Litchfield. Had to give Yorkshire bloke two kisses. Very cosmopolitan; he's been out here too long!!!
So strategy at Litchfield is the same as Kakadu, lets see if we can get to the best spots before Adventure tours, while they were staring transfixed at the magnetic termite mounds( it is not a lie- but how they are magnetic I cannot tell you) we raced into the lead to Florence falls and by the time we got to Buley there they all were having their first wash for three days!!! ( I'm sure the same was said about us on the two shower 10 day trip to Alice with "Heading Bush Tours"). Needless to say we had no intention of getting in the water at Buley, we were saving ourselves for the next one, Tolmer( couldn't swim here but was beautiful none the less). We had heard Wangi was a tourist mecca, but actually wasn't too bad when we got there at 9.30 a.m. wangi had a great plunge pool, which beer monster was straight into. Feeling under the weather myself I refrained
Meanwhile Susanna was under the waterfall. Found a secluded spot for lunch with several hundred mosquito's, and mystery meat product from dodgy roadhouse.
By this point we were worn out so found ourselves a nice bridge over not so troubled water to lie on and have a doze., where we decided Litchfield national park was our favourite.
Before we know it we are off to Darwin via an unsealed road that breaks all rental agreements, but is fantastic, the road ahead is red and dusty, it reminds us of our trip from Alice. It's almost in reluctance that we travel to Darwin as it means our trip is over! However suz has saved a finale. On a brief stop to yet more thermal pools suz decides to reverse into a rock! THUD!. Check the damage which is a small scratch under the bumper, however think it will be too small for Thrifty to see so continue to Darwin, wearing our bikini's. Last laugh of the trip has to be the realisation that we are causing traffic problems so pull in outside the camping shop for a quick change which certainly entertained the owner!!!!
I apologise for any discrepances and hope the damn yanks can understand it, and vice versa!. Also the dig at the uranium mine was not intended to upset our beloved aussies. THANK YOU!